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Anti-Bullying Program
Updates
The City of Independence and the Independence Schools have
come together to develop an anti-bullying program.
Members of the community school board, school
administrators, teachers, city workers, police officers,
churches, coaches, students, and others have just been
invited to No Bullies-No Victims seminars, created by
Sue Tucker of the Summit County Common Pleas/Domestic
Relations Court.
The "No Bully/No Victim" program involving the City of
Independence, Independence City Schools and St. Michael
School is an on-going process. As you know, the
program involves a commitment from the teachers, staff,
parents, and students. It is aimed at building
awareness of the behaviors of bullies, targets and
bystanders. It involves positive suggestions for
keeping schools and neighborhoods safe and secure for
our children.
St. Michael (grades 3-8) students and parents were
surveyed in October. It is recommended that the
student surveys be repeated one month and six months
after the initial presentation. Therefore, the
students will again be completing the same survey the
week of November 14 in their homerooms. They will
again be surveyed in April, 2006, the date is yet to be
determined. Click here
for "What is Bullying" document.
Advice for Parents of Bullied Kids
What do you do when your child doesn't
understand why he or she is getting picked on by other
kids and asks if he or she can change schools? And
what if he or she hasn't confided in you yet, but you
know there's a problem because of cuts/bruises,
depression, or the child's reluctance to go to school?
Clearly, your child needs to know he or she can trust
you and look to you for help. And if your child
does confide in you, realize that he or she has taken
the first step toward getting help.
Start by discussing with your child that
bullying consists of purposely directed threats,
physical attacks, words, gestures, or social exclusion.
Help your child understand that bullies try to "control"
their victims by making their victims feel small so they
can feel big. Give the child the
option of settling the situation. This will empower him
or her and improve his or her self-esteem. Some
children get bullied because of poor social skills,
untied shoes, slouched shoulders, no eye contact, a
shirt half tucked in, unclean hair/body, or any of a
number of other reasons. Try role-playing to see
how your child acts around other kids. This gives
you the opportunity to help your child work out
acceptable responses. If the
bullying is physically dangerous, notify the school and
the bully's parents. Find a safe means of
transporting your child to and from school or suggest
your child walk in a group, never alone.
Stay involved in your child's life, and
become more sensitive to problems. Ask questions
and listen with an open mind. Sometimes just being
heard helps. Set a good example by showing how to
peacefully settle conflicts by talking things out.
Reward your child when he or she uses positive skills to
settle differences. Children
need to feel loved, valued, and understood. Begin
working today to promote healthy communication and a
bully-free future for you and your child.
Bullying - Reporting Guidelines For Parents
1. Get the story from your child.
If you determine this was an isolated incident, assist
your child determining what they feel is the best course
of action, i.e. "I'd like to ignore it until it happens
again" or "I'll tell the principal tomorrow." Warn
your child against any retaliation to avoid future
problems for your child.
Here is what bullying can be:
Physical:
Pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching and
other forms of violence or threats
Verbal: Name-calling, sarcasm, spreading
rumors, persistent teasing
Emotional: Excluding, tormenting, ridicule,
humiliation
Racist: Racial terms, graffiti, gestures
Sexual: Unwanted physical contact or
abusive comments
Cyber: Text Messaging, Chatrooms, Instant
Messaging (IM), Email, Websites
Here is what bullying is not:
Two friends who may punch/hit each other and
both know it is not serious.
Having a disagreement with someone and both people
remain nice/polite.
Choosing not to spend time with someone, and that
person's feeling get hurt. 2.
If you determine this is not an isolated
incident, it may be considered bullying. Document
everything. Get dates, times, locations and names,
including witnesses, if possible. If there was a
physical altercation, take pictures of any injuries.
3. Contact the proper authority
immediately--call the facility where the bullying
occurred and say, "I believe I have a bullying issue to
report -- who should I speak with?" If the person
you need to speak with is not available, leave a message
and give them at least 24 hours to return your call.
If that person is unavailable for an extended length of
time, it will be the facility's responsibility to route
the call to the appropriate person.
4. Give the facility a reasonable
amount of time to investigate and address the problem.
A "fair" amount of time is about 5 working days.
However, feel free to request and interim update, if
necessary. 5. Be aware
that due to the current laws the facility will not be
able to tell you what the consequences were for the
bully. Specific discipline for children will not
be discussed. They will be able to tell you that
the problem was addressed and resolved.
6. If there is another incident,
IMMEDIATELY call the facility where it occurred to
report it, and make sure you tell them that this is a
recurring incident. Also, call the same person
you spoke with the first time (if possible) to report
the new occurrence, regardless of where it
happened. 7. If you
handled and resolved the second incident yourself or if
the police were notified, still notify the person
you originally spoke with, plus the school and
civic/recreation centers so they will be aware of the
subsequent incident.
Parents should try to resolve bullying incidents by
working with the city/schools and the parents of the
other child. If this fails and subsequent problems
occur, calling the police to document and investigate
the incident (s) would be the best course of action.
If at anytime the bullying behavior poses a threat or
breaks the law, ie: sexual assault, theft,
altercations resulting in physical harm or damage to
property, etc., the police should be notified
immediately. When in doubt, call the police.
(2/06 Adopted by the Independence
Anti-Bullying Committee)
Cyberbully NOT: Stop Online Social Cruelty
Cyberbullying is being cruel to others by sending or
posting harmful material using the internet or a cell
phone.
Types of Cyberbullying
* Flaming - angry, rude arguments.
* Harassment - repeatedly sending offensive
messages.
* Denigration - "dissing" someone online by
spreading rumors or posting false information.
* Outing and trickery - dissemination intimate
private information or tricking someone into disclosing
private information, which is then disseminated.
* Impersonation - pretending to be someone else
and posting material to damage that person's reputation.
* Exclusion - intentional exclusion from an online
group
* Cyberstalking - creating fear by sending
offensive messages and other harmful online activities.
How, Who, and Why
* Cyberbulling may occur via personal web
sites, blogs, email, discussion groups, message boards,
chat, instant messaging or text/image cell phones.
* A cyberbully may be a person whom the target
knows or an online stranger. A cyberbully may be
anonymous and may enlist the aid of others, including
online "friends".
* Cyberbullying may be a continuation of, or in
retaliation for, in-school bullying. It may be
related to fights about relationships or be based on
hate or bias. Some teens think cyberbullying is
entertaining - a fun game.
* Teens may not be concerned about the
consequences of harmful online behavior because:
They think they can't be punished. There is no
tangible feedback about the harm they cause, so it seems
like a game to them. Harmful online social norms
support cyberbullying: "I have a free speech right
to post whatever I want, regardless of the harm I
cause."
The Harm
Cyberbullying can cause great emotional harm to the
target. Online communications can be very cruel
and vicious. Cyberbullying cn be happening 24/7.
Damaging text and images can be widely disseminated and
impossible to fully remove. Teens are reluctant to
tell adults - for fear of overreaction, restriction
from, online activities, and possible retaliation by the
cyberbully. There are emerging reports of youth
suicide and violence related to cyberbullying.
Responsible Management of Children's Internet Use
Parents have a moral and legal obligation to ensure
their children engage in safe and responsible behavior
online!
* Keep the computer in a public place and
supervise its use.
* Find out what public online sites/communities
your child uses and periodically review what your child
is posting. Emphasize that these sites/communities
are public and that your child should never post
personal contact information, intimate personal
information, or provocative sexually oriented material.
(Your child may argue that you are invading his/her
privacy. These are PUBLIC places!)
* Tell our child that you will investigate his/her
private online communications if you have reason to
believe that he/she has engaged in unsafe or
irresponsible behavior. You can install monitoring
software to do this.
* Make joint internet use management agreements
with the parents of your child's friends - addressing
the time they can spend online, approved activities, and
a mutual parental agreement to monitor and report.
Prevent Your Child from Being a Cyberbully
* Make it clear that all internet use must be
in accord with family values of kindness and respect for
others and any violation of this expectation will result
in monitoring of all online activities using internet
use monitoring software.
* If your child is being bullied at school, work
with the school to stop the bullying and make sure your
child knows that he/she should not retaliate online.
Preventing Your Child from Becoming a Target of
Cyberbullying
* Frequently discuss the concerns of public
disclosure of intimate personal information and the
value of modesty.
* Visit and discuss the values demonstrated by
others in your child's favorite online communities.
* Insist that the school intervene effectively to
address any in-school bullying.
* Seek to "bully-proof" your child by reinforcing
your child's unique individual strengths and fostering
healthy friendships with teens you can trust to be kind.
Warning Signs that Your Child Might be the Target
* Expression of sadness or anger during or
after internet use.
* Withdrawal from friends and activities, school
avoidance, and decline of grades, signs of depression
and sadness.
* Pay close attention if your child is being
bullied at school or having any other difficulties with
peers. These are the teens that are most often
targeted by cyberbullies.
Action Steps and Options to Respond to Cyberbullying
* Save the evidence.
* Identify the cyberbully (s). Ask your ISP
for help.
* Clearly tell the cyberbully to stop
* Ignore the cyberbully by leaving the online
environment and/or blocking communications.
* File a complaint with the Internet or cell phone
company.
* Seek assistance from the school, if the
cyberbully also attends the same school. (But
because of free speech protections, if the cyberbullying
is occurring totally off-campus, your school may only be
able to provide informal assistance, not formal
discipline.)
* Send the cyberbully's parents a certified letter
that includes the evidence of cyberbullying.
Demand that the actions stop and harmful material be
removed.
* Contact an attorney to send a letter or file a
lawsuit against the parents based on defamation,
invasion of privacy, or intentional infliction of
emotional distress.
* Call the police, if the cyberbullying involves
threats of violence, coercion, intimidation based on
hate or bias, and any form of sexual exploitation.
* Reporting other concerns...
+ If you have suspicions your child is involved with an
online sexual predator, call the police. Do not
talk to our child, he/she could warn the predator.
+ If you see any online threats of school-related
violence, call both the school and the police.
+ If you see any material that raises concerns a child
is emotionally distressed and may be contemplating
suicide, self-harm, or other violence, contact the
counselor of the school the child attends.
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